Once Bitten . . . You Stop Sticking Your Hand in the Cage

pet the catIn her blog today author Lia London tells a harrowing tale of lies, betrayal, fraud — that wasn’t her latest book, it was her previous publishing efforts.

In a Facebook group I’m part of, someone asked for recommendations for a web designer. I dropped my name on the list, already 100 posts long.

The “where should I host my site?” question is asked often, garnering the same list of responses each time: “GoDaddy!” “Anywhere but GoDaddy!” “HostThingy” “ThingHost” “HostHost” “Hostess Cupcakes” “Charlottezweb” (because I’ll never skip an opportunity to promote Jason’s marvelous hosting, even if it gets lost in the crowd.)

We’re re-watching Longmire from the beginning, hoping the long-awaited 4th season will start the night after we finish the cliffhanger of season 3. In last night’s episode Walt tells Henry the reason he’s pulling fingerprints from a car’s steering wheel instead of having one of his deputies do it: “If you want something done right, you do it yourself.”

Rather than debate the debatable truth of the statement, let’s talk about why we believe that.

It’s because we’ve all been failed so many times we have a hard time trusting.

Except for all those times when people blindly fall into scams, cheats, and just plain bad business deals.

I find myself wondering today why it is that authors of all kinds have paid thousands to charlatans of every description, people who never deliver, who lie cheat and steal, and then after they’ve lost everything and have a substandard overpriced book they can’t sell, we have this short conversation:

“I wish I’d found you before I spent all my money!”

“Me too.”

And that’s where it ends.

Because they’ve already spent far more than they can afford on people who never deserved their trust, yet somehow received it.

It appears, more and more, that we’re split into two groups: the skeptics with a tight hand on their wallet and on the reins who aren’t looking for help, and those who are so trusting they’ve already been fleeced naked.

Apparently, I’m a day late, and they’re a dollar short.

3 thoughts on “Once Bitten . . . You Stop Sticking Your Hand in the Cage

  1. I think there are times though you just have to make the leap and trust someone you don’t know. I’m not saying I’d give the world my debit card number or personal info to anyone that asked, but sometimes putting some trust in a stranger works out fantastically. Complete strangers can end up becoming friends, trusted friends. :)
    I’ve been lied to and betrayed, but it doesn’t make me stop believing there are still some mighty decent people on this planet.

    1. It’s always a leap. As Steven M. R. Covey points out in his excellent book The Speed of Trust, you develop trust in people by trusting them, then watching them earn it after the fact.

      If you never take the risk, you never learn to trust. Only trusting past performance will never grow real trust.

  2. Only trusting past performance will never grow real trust…..
    That’s what I was trying to say and using far more words than you. :) Brilliantly stated!

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