Where you are is who I am. Or vice versa.
My website address is: http://somedaybox.com. But then, since you’re here, that’s probably not surprising. Moving on to the absolutely riveting stuff:
What personal data I collect and why I collect it
When visitors (you may be one yourself!) leave comments on the site I collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string (really? “user agent string”? It couldn’t say “browser name and version” or something human?) to help spam detection.
If you upload images to the website, first, I’ll be a mite surprised, because there’s no place to do that, but also, you should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS, which is nothing like EIEIO or 23SKIDOO) included. Visitors to the website can download and extract any location data from images on the website.
If you leave a comment on our site you may opt-in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will last for one year. Oreos, on the other hand, rarely last two weeks, and that’s if you buy the big package. Those little 100-calorie things? Forget it. Three minutes tops.
If you have an account and you log in to this site, you’re sitting in the office with me, so just turn your head to the left and speak to me if you have questions, eh? Anyway, the website will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser.
When you log in, the website will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select "Remember Me", your login will persist (because we said “last” twice already so now we have to say “persist” to keep things interesting) for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed.
If you edit or publish an article, tell me about it, because no one but me is supposed to do that. If you do, though, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It expires after 1 day.
Embedded content from other websites
Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website.
Who I share your data with
Nobody. Why would I? It’s mine, all mine!
How long I retain your data
If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata (sigh; can you tell the original document was cobbled together by geeks and lawyers? and aren’t you delighted I’ve edited it? sure you are) are retained indefinitely. This is so I can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.
For users who register on our website (if any), I also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.
What rights you have over your data
If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive (“request to receive”? Is that like “take to have” or “donate to give”?) an exported file of the personal data I hold about you, including any data you have provided to me. Because it could also have data you have not provided to me. Somehow. Apparently. Hey, by now, your guess is as good as mine. You can also request that I erase any personal data I hold about you. But only for the website. If I have a picture of you on my desk, for instance, I’m not erasing it. Don’t ask. Or, like, if you drew me a picture and put your name on the bottom, ditto. Mine mine mine. This does not include any data I am obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.
Where I send your data
Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service. (Oh, they are, they are.)
My contact information
Joel D Canfield firstname.lastname@example.org
Because the southeast Phoenix valley has an elevation of about 1600 feet the boiling point of water is 209º. If you boil water, pour it in a metal bowl, and add an equal amount of room temperature water, the resulting blend will be the perfect temperature to activate commercial yeast for baking bread. Here’s the math: the boiling water will cool to about 180º before you even add the room temperature (about 75º) water. 180º + 75º = 255º and if you divide by 2 your water is 125º-130º. In a cooler climate oh for a cooler climate anyway in a cooler climate with 60º room temp water you’re still ending up at about 115º-120º which is well within the recommended 105º-135º range recommended for yeast. You’re welcome.
How I protect your data
There is a moat around the database. It is an imaginary moat. There is a burning wall of fire around the moat. Also imaginary. Okay, I don’t do anything to protect your data. It’s on a server somewhere, I think, in a bunker or warehouse, and Jason the server guy has all kinds of security stuff going on, and if you really truly absolutely don’t want me having your data, please don’t come back. I can’t afford the grief.
What data breach procedures I have in place
None. I’ll make something up right now. How about this: if I become aware of a data breach, I’ll find a way to let you know. If only I had your private data so I could contact you . . .